Bangalore Bulletin Board- 1

Hey People!

Hmmm, so what happens when you return offshore after 14 months at onsite? A lot actually! Only you don’t realize it until it actually hits you… The preparations for your return all seem in place and sound pretty cool. You talk to family, friends back in India, prepare them for your return so they are all waiting for you with open arms and teary eyes… You tell people at onsite about how you realize that adjusting back is going to be tough and how you are mentally prepared for it… You decide not to throw any ‘Phoren- return’ tantrums so it’s easier for you to fit right back in. And so on and so forth…. And then, WHAM! You are offshore and you know what??? All the gyan you gave people about being prepared, ha, doesn’t help you one bit. Ok, you knew it would be tough, but actually experiencing it is a different ball game altogether. But exactly what is it that gets to you??? Well, try the following:

1. Most of your friends have moved on (Read: married or out of the city itself…)

2. You are suddenly part of the ‘Crowd’ again and feel like you have no personal space

3. The traffic is murderous and scary (No more smiling at motorists and walking across roads; here, they would gladly run you over to save a second!)

4. The dogs love barking between 1 and 4 AM (The first time in my life I actually felt like giving one swift kick to any dog- Actually only to that stupid black and white dog that stays right outside my window…)

5. You can’t just eat any place because you are suddenly acutely aware of the hygiene conditions under which the food is prepared and served

6. You can’t really talk to people about how you miss the place you just left for the fear of hurting them (My mom would kill me with an emotional drama if she finds out that I still miss being in the US of A!)

7. You again are whistled at or called something so ‘nice’ on the roads by perfect and absolute strangers that you seriously consider going to the nearest ‘Health and Glow’ to buy a can of pepper spray (I really think India houses all the perverts of this world, well, at least 99% of them…)

8. People expect you to have changed for the better (My hair was quite a disappointment for my family and friends. They wanted to know why I ‘did’ that to my hair. I was very clear in explaining to them that it ‘happened’ to my hair, there was absolutely no effort from my side to ‘do’ it…. Seriously people, give me a break…). Oh, and yeah, my tan was also the topic of discussion. My granny actually asked me if I had lied about the snow (“How can someone get dark in a place where it snows?”- Ajji, I do hope you understand that I returned after enjoying two months of summer, everyday of which I was out roaming around in a city that is in the northern hemisphere and attracts a lot of UVA and UVB rays!)

9. People everywhere think you have saved at least Rs. 20 lakhs and can ‘of course’ spend at least a couple of thousands treating them (I haven’t even had a full decent conversation with some of these people, ever!). Any chik- chik you do about money is brushed aside with a “You don’t talk about it. You just came back from the US.” (Yeah sweetie, I saved enough not to work for the rest of my life and also to support the next three generations of my clan…).

You know, I could possibly just go on about this. But it suddenly hit me that all through this crib session, I have also been smiling about the happy things that you experience when you get back. Well, try the following:

1. The first instant at the airport where you are craning to catch the first glimpse (Without specs, mind you!) of your parents through the crowds. The moment when you actually spot them smiling through their moist eyes. The second you feel so overwhelmed that you see clearly again (When you are shortsighted, and your eyes tear up, they act as natural lenses and with the right amount of water in your eyes, you can see perfectly well! Ha, I know the brains that are scientifically inclined would've understood this, not sure about the others!). The second you are in the arms of your parents again, hugging them so hard that you feel like never letting go again. The crazy moment when all of you are crying and laughing at the same time, trying to put a thousand hugs and smiles into that one moment, sigh… That is one moment that made me appreciate my parents more than ever…

2. The minute you walk in the door at home and a ball of cream fur rushes at you and makes you feel as welcome as you ever would feel. The minute that pig he wants to play with you and grabs the nice black jacket you are carrying and runs away with it, hoping you will chase after him (Dog drool leaves a silvery sheen over clothes after it dries, so you can imagine what happened to my black jacket- it went straight to laundry after my baby had gotten bored of chewing it…) and when you start opening your bags, a fat eager piggy sits next to you, wagging his tail, knowing that you have brought him something (That’s like a house rule, you can’t get in unless you are carrying something nice for Dukie). And the best moment is when the fat piggy realizes that all you have brought for him is a leash (It, of course, doesn’t matter that it is a US made, retractable, highly recommended one…) and growls at you when you try to hook it to his collar and hides under the bed :) :) :) Oh, how I would’ve loved to capture his dirty look and the escape thereafter on my camera… That was my ‘badlaa’ for the drool he deposited on my jacket! Ha, talk of getting even, hee hee hee!!!

3. The change in schedule that your dad makes so he can see you more often. Like coming home for lunch, which he never did earlier, and trying to get home by 6 everyday (His ‘official’ work timing is 7 AM to 2 PM, but he ends up working 7 AM to 8 PM) and talk to me about all the things we missed while I was away.

4. The sudden increase in the number of dishes your mom prepares (And the complaints from Dad that she does this only when ‘her’ kids are home and never just for him!) and the happy expression with which she takes on this additional cooking and baking work…

5. The happiness with which they show you off to their friends and colleagues (You’d think I am the only girl who has ever travelled to the US for work!) and to see the indulgent smiles of their friends as they realize it is the parental love and pride that is making them project their daughter as the best, and in some cases, just laugh out, when they see my uncomfortable fidgeting…

6. The smiles that spread across everyone’s faces when they see what the big blue suitcase has carried for them…

7. The phone calls that you place to your friends announcing that you are now back in town and can’t wait to meet them and talk about all the things that you have saved for the time when you actually meet up…

8. Finding all your favorite eating joints and shopping places are still intact and waiting for you to splurge! Looking at the familiar shopkeepers faces and giving them big smiles of happiness while they just wonder what’s wrong with the mad girl standing in front of them and grinning ear to ear for no apparent reason (They do meet hundreds of people each day, but for you, they are still so recognizable and do count among the faces you have been waiting to see again, even if they do not recognize you…).

9. The feeling of being home on the day you witness the first heavy rains in Bangalore (It had rained every first day that I had come to Bangalore as a kid and even on the first day that I was dropped off here for college…) and huddling close and remembering why all of this is so important to you. The feeling that while you may have enjoyed the facilities and comfort that an alien country had to offer you, you can never stay away from your own country and not miss it. You may be able to make a statement that India is important to you only because of the people it keeps safe for you, but that is not entirely true. It is also important to you because you were born here, raised here, most of the happy and sad memories worth mentioning were created here, it is the place you will bring up your children, your family, and also the place you will finally be put to rest. A comfortable life and relative freedom can never compare with the deep bond which is formed at the time of your birth. You may decide and love to stay away for a few years, but then you are bound to return to your homeland, mentally and in the end, physically as well…

Wow! I never knew I felt so strongly about a few of these things… Introspection really brings out things that you usually would not look at in your routine life… Hmmm, I do know that while some of you may have read through this without yawing, there would also be a few of you that would probably have missed a few lines when you dozed off halfway through this bulletin. So let me get back to my everyday report that won’t really bore you as much…

I am now cooking for and taking care of my sis. She doesn’t really offer to help out of the fear that I may take up her offer at face value, she doesn’t do the dishes, she likes to eat a variety of things and does not like eating the same dish being cooked consecutive days, loves being pampered and still pulls my leg about how chik- chik I am and in some cases how I am so much worse than mamma (That’s when I force her to have a glass of milk every morning…). And to think that I had thought taking care of people is something I would have to do only after my marriage , but I do adore her so much and, being my baby, I love pampering her!

So, I am back to my life that I had put on suspension for a year while I lived out a life of absolute abandon and the perfect ‘Bachelorette’ life that any girl could ever wish for… But I guess, after the initial adjustment issues, I'm doing just fine and love being back with my own people, my loved ones. So, here's where I leave you guys, but stick on with me and you will receive blogs from around the world (You didnt think I named my blog 'Bulletins Boards from around the world' for nothing, did you???). I do intend to see the world (Some parts of it at least...) and stay with me so you can be a part of it too! Thank you for visiting this page...

Thanks and regards

Megha